I Feel Too Damn Good....

I woke up this morning before the alarm clock went off. I was able to chit chat with the hubby before he went to work. I fixed the kids breakfast without any problems. There was no traffic jams while dropping the kids off to school. After I dropped the last child off to daycare, I turned my radio up loud , rolled down the windows and started to ride out to work. This was too damn good!!! A little mental therapy for FREE. The music allowed me to gather my thoughts and get my head straight for today. AWESOME!!! In the midst of it all, I turned down the radio and prayed to GOD thanking him for such a wonderful day. Once I received my divine aspiration, I turned the radio back up and continued to cruise. I was on this natural high all day today. Now I realized that you do not need a lot of money, big unaffordable material things, a movie star husband, or/and a dysfunctional kid who gets straights "A"s. All you need is yourself. I learned to accept the love from myself and love ME back unconditionally. I am telling you, SELF INTEREST is the best thing going. You better get you some because my cup runneth over, LOL!!! Remember to LOVE THY SELF BEFORE LOVING ANYONE OR ANYTHING ELSE (except for GOD or whatever deity you believe in)! I FEEL TOO DAMN GOOD and nothing is changing that including but not limited to: overdue bills, collection calls, overbearing mother and mother-in-law, stank attitude sister,drunken brother, nosey neighbors,angry co-workers, pissed off customers, the super-size bad attitude McDonalds cashier, the no personality professor, the motorists who always on my tail like an unseen birthmark, the newspaper guy who never throws straight, the mail-man who does not speak, or even the nasty woman who forgets to flush the toilet after she finishes doing the #3, yes the #3 (a lil bit of everything). Nothing is disturbing my mood!

Forgiveness

Fifteen years ago one of my best friends became pregnant in our junior year of high school. I could not believe it, I was so shocked. This friend was one of my biggest inspirations while going through school. All through grade school, junior and high school she was a straight “A” student with a grade point average above a 4.0. I do not know what happen or went wrong but I was very disappointed at her. We no longer shared the same interests; the first generation to go to college, taking the SATs and ACTs, taking AP courses, and doing homework together. I dare she ruin the life for both of us; at least this was what I was feeling. So I slowly started forming other friendships and I left her out in the cold. I did not care how she felt because she disappointed me. We could no longer walk the neighborhood or go to weekend parties because she would have to babysit. So I bonded with the other girls in the group and left her in the wilderness where it was dark, cold, & scary. After all she was WILD, right? I went to college and tried to be all I could be. Before I left to go to school I met this guy that would later propose to me in life. I formed new friendships with people that shared my interest in being successful. My family was proud because I was the first generation to attend college.

Déjà-Vu all over again. In my junior year of college, one of girls comes up pregnant. The young girl tries to hide her pregnancy as long as she could to uphold her social status around her friends. In her last trimester, she begins to show her motherhood and her friends start slowly disappearing. But wait; just like the click of a button, she changes her social status. She is now a married mother who turned into a college dropout overnight. She appreciates her bundle of joy but as time passes she depreciates herself even more. Why? She has disappointed herself and everyone else’s except that precious little bundle of joy. She just does not get it. She is now walking in her friend shoes. After the birth of her second child, a co-worker stops by her desk and encourages her to go back to school for the sake of her children's future.

Never the Less, I took advantage of the tuition reimbursement and completed some courses at the local community college. I have since obtained my A.A in Liberal Studies which transferred to the University I had previously attended. I have less than a year to complete my B.A in Political Science and then I will enroll in Graduate school. By coincidence I came upon that same friend from high school whom I had abandoned. She shared a touching story with me which is why I am blogging today. She informed me that she knew everybody was angry with her but she said that she was very upset at herself for getting pregnant at 15. Her anger had crippled her and she felt that she could not do anything else. My friend said that once she decided to FORGIVE herself, everything else fell into place. Of course she completed high school but now she is enrolled in college completing her B.A. as well. I realized that I was able to move on because I, too, forgave myself. I have learned that Forgiveness starts within you. You have to learn how to hold yourself accountable and Forgive you own faults. If God can forgive u then you can forgive yourself and others too.

Tonight, I ordered food from a local restaurant in the drive thru. As I pulled up to pay, the server says it is going to be about 5 minutes until my food is ready, so I pulled around front and waited for someone to bring out my order. In order to buy myself sometime I started checking my email account from my iPhone. As I was checking my email account, this guy in a hooded sweatshirt pulls up to my window and motions for me to let my window down. Hmm, I start thinking not a good idea and ignores the guy hoping he will go away. Finally he knocks on my window pleading for me to roll down the window and help him pull his food out of the bag so he can eat or something. I am not sure of what is going on, so immediately I start to look for my pepper spray. The guy then notice that I have a cell phone in my hand and starts to back way and wonders off on his bicycle. What is wrong with this picture? Was this an attempted robbery gone bad for fear I was calling 911? Or did he truly need help? Well, I believe that this was a robbery attempt spoiled by the presence of my cellphone. If he truly needed help, he could have walked into the restaurant or motioned for the police who was less than 200 feet away assisting a disabled motorist. Whatever it was, I just thank GOD I did not fall victim to some one's stupidity. Just remember times are changing, be careful and alert. Carry some type of protection if you are out late at nite, even if it is only a cellphone. ALWAYS LOCK YOUR DOORS AND RIDE WITH YOUR WINDOWS ROLLED UP!!! I can only imagine if my door was unlocked and my windows were down.